Manage Time to Reduce Stress – May Not Always Work

I was asked this week to write an article on time management by my very good friend and cousin, who was clearly time challenged that day.  I could see the stress he was under as I wasted an hour of his time just talking about how much fun I was having writing this blog.

We had talked a couple of weeks ago about how his part-time business has been so successful that it has turned into a full-time job. This wouldn’t seem like a problem but he is retired and was not looking for a full-time job. His natural sales ability and helpful personality has his customers demanding more of his time than he is willing to give. Like most good salesmen he finds it hard to turn down a sale and just say “no”.

So over coffee I suggested the things that I often suggest to our Account Managers who are facing the stress of not having enough hours in the day.

• Plan each day by writing a to-do list of what you need to accomplish that day.
• Prioritize the list by importance, putting the most important first.
• Identify the tasks that are not essential and could be put off or eliminated.
• Determine which of the tasks you can delegate to someone else and delegate them.
• Plan time for some unexpected events to happen. (They always do.)
• Stay on plan as best as you can.

I even went so far as to suggest blocking out Tuesdays and Thursdays each week just for himself.

As we left the coffee shop I remember thinking I wish I had his problem of having too much business. I also felt I had given him solid advice.

As we talked this week I could see that he had taken my advice and began implementing the plan but it clearly was not working. He told me that he had also decided to start taking Tuesdays and Thursdays off and had gone so far as to turn his phone off for an afternoon.

The problem was even though the phone was off the calls didn’t stop coming. When he turned his phone back on he had 19 calls requesting his services. I can just imagine his stress level as the messages began to play. While my suggestion to block a couple of days for himself may have been valid, it failed to provide a solution for the cause of his stress — too much business.

I was thinking the problem was organization of time and learning time management skills would be the cure. If he could eliminate the time wasting events and focus on what was truly important he could gain control of his time and reduce his stress level.  My advice was only treating the symptoms and not finding a real solution for the problem.

I did exactly what I teach our Sales and Account Managers not to do. I didn’t take the time to understand the real problem before recommending a solution.  I made assumptions, and we all know what happens when we assume, that were valid but not complete. I didn’t ask the right questions.  I failed to listen to what was being said and must have not been looking for non-verbal clues in the conversation. I suspect I was probably doing most of the talking. I failed to “practice what I preach.”

I expect my cousin will be receiving an invitation this week to come over to the house and grill some steaks next weekend. I owe him the time to listen and learn what the real issues are.

This time I will prepare like I would for a sales call:

• I will gather as much information about his business and his customers as I can.
• I will have a few probing questions prepared to help get to the root of the problems.
• I will listen closely to what he is telling me and look for the non-verbal answers to my questions.
• I will not be so quick to offer solutions but try help and assist him reach his goal of less stress and more free time.

I’m thinking the solution may be more of a behavior change for both my cousin and his customers. He may need to retrain his customers to do business in a way that conforms more to his schedule. In doing so he will probably need to learn to say “no” and not be so accommodating.

Heck, there I go again making assumptions. I’ve got to start “eating my on cooking”.

If you have or have had these same struggles with time and stress that you would like to share, please leave a comment below. I’m very interested to learn how others deal with this very common problem. If you have experiences that you think could help my cousin please leave a comment or you can email me at feedback@wewaonthenet.com.